Ali stood silently, looking at the door. With a slow creaking sound, it opened. Taking a deep breath, Ali walked inside...
Please continue the story by describing what it was like / what happened behind the door. You should aim to use as many ISPACED sentence starters as you can. You should aim to write at least 2 paragraphs. Good luck, I look forward to reading them!
All she could see was darkness ,not even her hand in front of her face. Standing in the distance, was a figure, a human figure. Ali crept towards it, "I think its a ghost" Thought Ali. She was correct. A terrifying ghost was floating towards her. Ali ran backwards, but suddenly she stumbled and tripped. She had fallen over- What could it be. It was a golden box, and maybe it would bring Ali luck...?
ReplyDeleteSlowly Ali opened the box, not knowing what she would find. Carefully pulling up the lid of the golden box she peered inside, suddenly there came a howling noise and at least a hundred ghosts came shooting out at once. Ali wanted to run but was frozen on the spot with fear. "what could these ghosts possibly want? How could I help them" Thought Ali. Ali was petrified, but knew there was no turning back!...
Incredible use of some adverb sentence starters! You have set the bar high. Well done Gypsy!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great piece of writing Gypsy! I agree with Mr Harris totally! Well done :-)
DeleteThe whole house was broken.It looked like it has been burnt down. Ali looked behind her the door slammed shut there was no turning back. In the distance Ali could see a windo all smashed up,could Ali get out that way.
ReplyDeleteSlowly Alj carried on walking round the house to see if anyone was in. Ali felt all nervous what would happen to her? But she couldn't see no one near her.As quick as s flash she heard a bang " what was that? what shall I do?" though Ali. Quickly Ali ran up stairs to see what it was. When she got to the top of the stairs she court in the corner for her eye a closed door. As she approached the door she suddenly stooped for a second.But then she opened the door and walked in she could only see a poor, hopeless cat Ali took it home but what caused the door to open and slam shut?
Fantastic ideas Abbi - I wonder what it could have been? Great use of adverb sentence starters. Have a quick look through to check you have used commas in the right places :)
DeleteLovely to read more of your great writing Abbi. Well done!
DeleteAli stood silently, looking at the door. with a slow creaking sound it opened taking a deep breath ,Ali walked inside with so much fear running through Ali's body , her eyes were shut tightly .Ali could feel a cold breeze on her face and with all her courage she opened her eyes what she saw amazed her.
ReplyDeleteAli stood with her back to the door, in front of her was an old wooden staircase which led down to a room . In the corner of the room Ali saw a skeletan sat at a desk with a bunch of keys and a piece of paper which looked like a map.
Good stuff Connor, I love the words 'old, wooden' to describe the staircase - it paints a good picture for the reader. Just make sure there is a comma between two adjectives in a list.
DeleteWould love to know what happens next! Well done Connor :-)
DeleteAli took a small, heroic step into the dark, damp room. With a loud creak the door swung shut behind him. He expected the worst, but the worst was an understatement. His life would never be the same again as he was about to witness his worst nightmare. He felt around for the cold brick wall for the light switch, when he finally found it he flicked it on, the light was dim but he couldn't believe his eyes.
ReplyDeleteThe smell was so revolting it made his stomach churn and his eyes water. He thought he was going to pass out. Ali knew what the smell was almost straight away, it was the smell of rotting flesh. He knew exactly who had done this, it was the babysitter! How was he going to tell his perents?
'...it made his stomach churn and his eyes water' - what a fantastic description which shows me exactly how Ali must have been feeling. Well done Phoebe!
DeleteWow! Your sentences really create an atmosphere that sucks the reader in. Well done:-)
DeleteAli stood silently, looking at the door. With a slow creaking sound, it opened. Taking a deep breath, she walked inside…
ReplyDeleteFear was running though her mind at this moment; she scanned every inch of the room, nothing. With sweaty palms, she tugged and hitched her backpack higher on her shoulder. Taking a few paces, she surveyed the dreadful terror that lay before her; she viewed the scene and understood all the rumours she had been hearing…
Suddenly a gargantuan stream of wind blew past her nervous face with a murderous voice chanting, “Come to witness your fait young one.” Knowing this, she turned away and started to head for the open iron door, just then it slammed itself shut causing Ali to fall down onto her back.
She didn`t know what to do. Find a way out or stand her ground!
Defiantly, she stood up and questioned “Why keep me here?” No Answer. Even though it was dark, she could just see in the direction of the mysterious voice a menacing figure. “You’re just a normal man” announced Ali while clearing her trousers of dust. “Or am I” replied the mysterious voice. Ali knew straight away that he could not be a man because there was another voice in the background. “Granddad! Why are you here?” questioned Ali in a loud voice. But out of nowhere, “Surprise, have a spooky Halloween!”
Ali fainted in shock and had to go to hospital. Opening her fragile eyes shakily, she woke up and got a herd of “Sorry Ali`s” and “Are you okay Ali”. Even though that scene wasn`t extraordinarily scary, she hoped never to witness that again.
You have used loads of brilliant adjectives to make a clear picture for the reader - my favourites are 'murderous' and 'fragile'. What a brilliant piece of work, your writing is developing well, Nathan.
DeleteA fantastic piece of writing! Great work!:-)
DeleteAli stood silently, looking at the door.With a slow creaking sound,it opened.Taking a deep breath,Ali walked inside...
ReplyDeleteAll she could see was darkness,the door slamed shut behind her.Fear was running all through out her body.Taking a step,Ali saw a figure lurking towards her.All of a sudden Ali fell to the floor and smashed her head with blood dripping down her face.Ali was never to be seen again...
Well done Ellie, I would have liked a little more development and detail in your story. I like the way you have used 'lurking' to describe the movement of the figure. Very spooky!
DeleteThat's a good story Ellie
DeleteThe door slammed behind her and the room was suddenly filled with darkness. White fluffy cobwebs dangled from the ceiling, fluttering across Ali's face, she closed her eyes hoping that it was all just a dream. As she opened her eyes she realised she was still there.
ReplyDeleteA mysterious object glimmered in the distance, sweeping the cobwebs from her brow Ali made her way towards the object, intrigued as to what it could be. As she got closer she realised what it was. Shaking like a leaf she reached for the gleaming door knob, clenching it in her sweaty palm she tried to turn it. Her heart was pounding as a loud screech filled the room, the lights flickered, then darkness surrounded Ali as she collapsed to the floor.
After what seemed like an hour of being laid their on the floor Ali pulled herself to her feet. Still feeling nauseated with fear, she took a deep breath in and tried to regain composure. Cautiously Ali walked inside the next room as the door swung precariously on the rusty hinges. The room appeared bigger than the previous room, it was bare apart from a picture on the wall of an elderly couple. Glancing forwards Ali carried on through the room, floor boards creaked beneath her feet, eerie silence fell around her. Then suddenly the front door opened and the sound of an elderly ladies voice echoed through the house. Ali ran towards the torn curtain and wrapped it around herself.
Great response Jasmine! You have used some brilliant verbs - 'clenching' and 'pounding' to describe how Ali is reacting. I want to find out what happened next - what will the elderly lady do?!
DeleteAli stood silently, looking up at the door. With a slow creaking sound, it opened. Taking a deep breath, Ali walked inside...
ReplyDeleteAs he walked in, mystical, scary thoughts raced through his mind haunting him . Looking carefully at his surroundings, he reached his frozen, small hands at the messy, stone walls to feel them. He pulled them back instantly. On his hands, sickly, soggy, goo eased around his fingers, making him jerk with in fright. He was now regretting entering on the way home from school.
Down the long corridor, there were a few rooms. He looked at the left room and the right room, which one would he choose... ''The right one'' Ali thought to himself. Walking inside, he knew he chose the wrong one. He was grabbed by some large, green hands and got thrown on to the hard floor to be ''what?'' he thought to himself...
Another fantastic piece of writing Patrick. You have mastered the use of ISPACED sentence openers, which will help you to produce some Level 5 writing.
DeleteRemember to use a question mark - '...which one would he choose?'
Ali stood silently, looking at the door. With a slow creaking sound, it opened. Taking a deep breath, Ali walked inside.
ReplyDeleteShe felt a soft but jental breeze on her pale face. All she could see was darkness then the light flickered and the large,brown door shut with an almighty bang.Ali was terrified she didn't know what to do. Then, from out of nowhere was a mysterious creature. It had red eyes ,ginormous hands and three heads looking at the place she knew she wouldn't be able to escape
She creeped pass the weird looking monster to peer up the old, ragged stairs. There were corridors,loads of them then just at the end was a mouldy window all on its own. She crept over to the mouldy thing and started to kick at it. It shatterd into pieces and Ali escaped from the ancient building not knowing what will happen next...
As soon as he put his foot through the door it slammed shut."I guess I wont be going back the way I came" Ali thought. Suddenly, the lights started flickering and that was when Ali noticed were he was. It looked like a small wardrobe but had three doors in it. Ali started with the door in front of him O.M.G.
ReplyDeleteThinking he was seeing things, Ali rubbed his eyes. No. They were still there. Hissing,spitting slithering everywhere. Spitting cobras were surrounding him so he shut the door as fast as he could. OW! Ali shouted he stood on a dusty scroll and this is what it said! For the person who is reading this we would like you to stay calm and be brave.Two of these doors hold your worst fears but in the last door is whatever you want but you have to face your fears and find the keys that open the next door GOOD LUCK!Taking a deep breath Ali was reaching towards the handle when he heard a hiss. They must all be hanging around the door I'll wait a few minutes. Five minuets later, the hissing stopped and Ali opened the door slowly. All the snakes were asleep.Ali peered into the dim lit room to see if he can catch a glimpse of a key.There it was. The golden key was wedged between two snakes. Carefully, Ali grabbed one cobra and threw it to the other side of the cave. Snatching up the key Ali pegged it to the door. He made it.
Even though he was trembling,Ali was proud of himself.He never had the courage to touch a snake before.Placing the key through the keyhole the door swung open and Ali was horrified.He saw nothing just pure darkness. As he shuffled along the cold,stony floor he felt the ropes of a bridge. Slowly, Ali put one foot in front of the other and tried to occupy himself and not hear the the creaking sound of the old,wooden boards. Reluctantly, Ali made it across the rickety,old bridge and felt around for the key aha got it.Ali searched for the bridge and ran as fast as he could and he was relived to see the sunlight shining on his face.
I get my wish. I've been through a lot I hope I've not been told a pack of lies. With trembling fingers Ali carefully put the key in the door. Slowly, Ali walked in and made his wish. When he opened his eyes his wish came true. He was home and his mother walked in.Ali ran towards her and gave her a massive hug .He wasn't scared of anything.
THE END!
The door slowly closed. At that exact moment, a small glass bottle dropped from a dusty shelf and smashed into hundreds of pieces. In the bottle, there was a scruffy bit of paper. Ali slowly approached it. She grabbed it slowly, sat on a wooden chair and red it. It was a map of the creepy house and on the map was a red dot. Underneath that ,there was writing, it said treasure
ReplyDeleteShe went up the creaky stairs and opened a charred door. In that room, there was a shiny golden key. She picked it up and went to the next room. She opened the door but it wouldn't open. She put the key into the rusty lock. Then, it opened. Inside, there was a wooden chest with a lock on it. She put the key into the lock then, it opened. In the distance, she heard footsteps. What could it be thought Ali ...
Ali stood silently, looking at the door. With a slow creaking sound it opened. Taking a deep breathe, Ali walked inside.
ReplyDeleteShe couldn't believe her eyes it was an old railway station. As she was so amazed, she was really tempted to go find her friends so she turned around and went to find her friends. After a few tugs at the door she realised it was locked! Then she started yelling but there was no point because no-one could hear her so she decided to go and explore the place, then she grabbed the torch off the wall to have a look around. Ali went into a dark, scary room and had a weird feeling that someone was watching her. Then out the corner of her eye she saw an old man crunched up in the corner. She started to talk but it was almost like he was deaf. Ali new she had to do something, but she wasn't quite sure what. Then she thought to her self, how was she going to get out, of that horrible, dark place?
All he could see was a pitch black, spooky room. Ali stepped forwards .All of a sudden, there was a big bang! He froze Ali thought to himself could it be a ghost? Slowly, he tiptoed across the hard, dusty ground. Ali stopped he saw a bright, golden door with a bunch of dents over it.
ReplyDeletecarefully, Ali opened the bright, golden door. Inside was a big, brown box. Ali quickly opened the box and here was an another box with DANGER written on it. He said to himself "if I don't open this box I will never know what would be in it". So Ali opened the box. Suddenly a bunch of vicious ghosts came charging out Ali thought what could they want?...
Ali stood silently, looking at the door. with a slow creaking sound ,it opened.Taking a deep breath,Ali walked inside.The jet black room looked as if a bomb had hit it.In the room was a box.But what was in it? Ali stepped forward to take a look but suddenly a voice came from upstairs. Ali hid behind a large chest and waited until the voice had gone. As soon as she checked it was clear, she ran to the box and smashed it open. Wow! Ali thought,EXPLOSIVES!!! "What do I do with them? " Ali murmured to herself "I know!" Ali said aloud "I will take them to the feild and Bury them". So Ali did just that,but it was years before anyone found them again.
ReplyDeleteAs he stared into the gloomy darkness , all he could see was dull and plain walls but one was different. One of the many walls had a red liquid which spelt out "Stay if you dare!" Although this intimidating message, Ali had to find out more.
ReplyDeleteStaring around the room, Ali found a clue. It was a tangled lead, he followed it nervously and silently into the next room of this mysterious house. Ali was shocked at what he had found. He had found an eerie black cloak beside a blood stained mask but the strange thing was that Ali wasn't scared as he knew what he had stumbled upon...
Ali stood silently, looking at the door. With a slow creaking sound, it opened, Taking a deep breath, Ali walked inside...
ReplyDeleteAs she peered to see the room, she saw a golden, glowing historical treasure box. After a while, she took another deep breath as the old, ancient door slammed behind her. Standing next to a piece of rotten paper Ali picked it up. It said...
FIND ALL THE KEY'S IN THE ROOM. GOOD LUCK!
Once she read it all, she look every where, but, the dilemma was the should would always lose her keys where ever she went. A moment later, she found all the precious keys to choose if to stay or to open the treasure box, and gathered them all together. One by one, Ali try to put them in the fragile treasure box, until it was the right one. Suddenly, she thought that it would by a wild if it was the right next because beside Ali there was a mountain of keys to get through. Her fingers were crossword be the one in her hand so put it in. A split second later, she heard a sound click and it suddenly popped open. Inside the was a deadly, horrifying spider. That hard work didn't pay and she relied that she was now trapped in the elderly place for the rest of her life...
Ali took two steps forward not knowing if she should turn back to the safty of her house. Her heart skipped a beat. The smell of rotting food blasted into her face. Ali looked at the walls to see dead and stuffed animals. Suddently the door slamed shut.
ReplyDeleteAli banged at the door and started screeming, but the door wouldn't buage. Out of nowhere something ran over her foot. Ali screemed as loud as she could. She started punching into mid air. Then a "aww" came from the darknes. The door finaly opened, Ali ran for her life without looking back. She didn't know what was in the cave but she wasn't sure if sne wanted to know...
Ali stood silently, looking at the door. With a slow creaking sound, it opened, Taking a deep breath, Ali walked inside this dark, petrifying basement. know one had step foot inside this mysterious room for decades it was as if it was abandoned. looking suspitously around the scary room ali now was in view of a red eyed creature. "what was it? had anyone else seen it before" whispered Ali to herself. not noticing the devil like creature was eyeing her out. Ali had been distracted by her old beloved toy, that had gone missing years ago.
ReplyDeleteout of the blue, the red eyed creature had now moved within 5 steps from Ali. surprisingly Ali was shaking madly like a leaf she had never been more nervous in her life. because of this she turned to run out of the old door. but the devil like creature had already closed it what was she going to do?
Ali had to think on her feet, hoping they were still there Ali slowly crept over to were her father kept is knives many years ago. Ali had forgot to check if the mean creature was asleep. it was to late, Ali is now trapped "HHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPP" yelled Ali, hoping someone could here her it was no us no one was there.
Why had the mysterious creature done this? the question was never awnserd